My mind is in a whirl.

Argh, the more i look at the date, the more disappointed i am. I just felt so lost. The feeling that i can't do anything, don't know what to do when i know time is ticking by. I've already wasted one year. Seriously feel that i shouldn't waste my 2009. I know i've already wasted one whole year doing nothing and i can't waste anymore time. I've already wasted one year in sec school so the more i shouldn't be wasting more years in my life. I'm getting old already! It's a fact. Old to start studying if i drag any longer but yet i'm young to not study! So how?! I really am in a lost. I don't know what to do. What do i really want in life? I've got no plans. Seeing my friends with great plans and knowing what they want in life, i'm really full of envy. Why don't i have any plans for my life? I really don't want to spend my time like this everyday. It's really getting tiring. I don't want this kind of life? But is this fate? Sometimes i feel that it's fate but sometimes i feel that if this is fate, i should change my fate. But how do i change? What should i do now? Start making plans? How do i make plans? Where do i start from? It's all a question mark! Shitszxc. I seriously think that i'm gonna break down anytime. Yeah, maybe some of you might think that i'm very lucky. But when you're in my position, you won't feel the same anymore. Seriously. It's tired leading this kinda life. :( I'm not blaming anyone. Just blaming myself! I'm so useless. What should i do?

Enough of these things already! I've had enough of it already!

Alright, she's back. argh, the last thing i want to see. But what can i do? I'm starting to lose hope. I hope i can control myself and start giving up on you. Can i do it? I hope i can do this yet again i don't wish to forget you, to give you up. Really. How?!

My mind is in a whirl now. So many question marks in my head! I don't know which problems to think first. I don't know how to handle my problems. I don't know how to handle! I really hope there's someone to help me handle my problems. Sit down and have things sort out! I seriously don't want to remain how i am now! Perhaps this kind of life would be good temporary, but definitely not permanent. I don't want this kind of life forever! But how?! :(





Gtg, tata!~
Really hope life would get better for me. :)